His Mysterious Way.

There are many things that I hear people say about the Lord. One of which, I have recently learned...i wouldn't say the hard way. But it was rough enough for Him to have wholy stirred in me and changed me spiritually.
God moves mysteriously. He works in ways you wouldn't expect coming at all, whatsoever. But when his plans are bluntly slapped in front of your face, you start to realize why things went the way they did.
So many tend to ask God "Why?" when things don't go their way, or the way they intended. There's a saying that goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans". It's crazy how true that statement is. We, as humans, always try to take control of our own lives. We always have, I think it's just a habit you pick up when you're super little. But what we don't understand fully is that we need to surrender our lives to the Lord, that way it saves us some disappointment when things don't go the way WE planned.
But sometimes, if not all times, when things turn out almost exactly opposite of what you had intended, it becomes a blessing in disguise. I've always loved that phrase only because so many things in this world as just that. But we miss so many of them because we are so blind to them.
God's ways are so beneficial. I have learned so much in the past four or five months that I feel like I've only been truely alive for that long. I've been so blind all these years, and even some of this summer. I couldn't see where He was leading me, but I didn't fully trust him either. It's hasn't been until recently that I've truely understood why God moves the way he does and how it's going to effect my life for the better.
But then again, when it comes to the Lord, my Savior, everything he does effects my life for the better. Always.

Another brand new week, although unfortunately its starting with sickness.
But this weekend was awesome. SO awesome. Wow. Anyways, I need rest for my 5:30 am wake up call in the morning for school...blahh.

Until next time...

Amazing Day.

Well this week absolutely flew by. My cousin got married last weekend, SUCH an amazing reception. I don't think I've ever had that much fun with my family ever.
If I didn't already mention, My Dad is one of 12. So our gatherings are pretty massive, and this was definately one of the largest ever.
but school this week has been good. semi-stressful. but good.
Today though...OH man haha

I usually don't describe my day as amazing. Cause not every day is amazing, and a school day has to follow certain requirements for me to describe it with such a word.
requirements such as:
-at least one laugh in every class.
-NOTHING boring in any class
-no stupid drama(which my life has been amazingly delivered from)

So English was good. I got to reading this really fantastic book that I started the other day and really got to dive into more in that class.
In Ceramics we're been working on this project all week so today it was graded and then we pretty much got the rest of the period to chill, so a friend and I just went to the class next door to hang out with a few friends.
US History had a surprizingly easy Reading Quiz and then I got to ditch the class for about 15-20 minutes due to the fact that I missed a Quiz last week because I missed a day of school for the wedding. That AND I got to miss some dumb Jeopardy game they played today in order to make up the Quiz.
Chemistry I was kind of worried about because we had a test, but it turned out to be surprizingly easy also (thank the Lord!) and then I got to read some more when I was finished.
Computer Science was easy as always, and we had a sub so I just finished the project we were woorking on and read.
My TA class had to be the best thing. almost ever.
So i TA for a bunch of freshman and they are all fantastic. WE've had a sub in the class so I'vwe been off doing homework or helping other math teachers. Today is the first day that I've been in there for a few days...so that might have helped it's level of greatness.
Anyway so theres this girl, Uma, who is like THE perfect student. And for some reason it was hilarious that she was trying to slyly eat carrots in a class where we can't eat...like of all foods! It was just hilarious the entire class was laughing about it ahhhh soo funny. And this girl was like "Kate! Look when i slap Heath, his lip twitches!" So I wrote on the board our inside jokes for the world of Mr. Littles class to see. Those kids are just hilarious! And I never get to hang out with them like that it was soo much fun.
And Honors Pre-Calc was fine...you know, math. But it was good! haha

WOW my day was fantastic...but basically it can only go down from here because today was so flippin' fantastic.
Well I hope you days were as good as mine. I don't know why I felt the need to blog, probably mostly cause I haven't for like a week.
Anyways, this weekend should be exciting.
Leading worship on sunday...PRAY FOR ME.

Well,
Until next time...

This Truth.

"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home. "
-To Write Love On Her Arms Story.

His Grace Will Lead Me.

Well, it has been quite some time. You know, Cody told me that once school started I wouldn't be posting everyday, or every week for that matter. What's funny is I didn't believe him haha.
But once school starts and you can just take advantage of the time that you either get alone or with your friends, it's so easy to take grasp of it. And I have been, over and over..

School is getting fantastic. We're almost at the point where classes are getting interesting for the most part. The only two that need to get the ball rolling are Chemistry and English.
Chemistry is fun though. Although my teacher is slightly strange, my class is alright. My lab group consists of three guys, two VERY pro-dating, one who shares my opinion in no dating in high school. One of the guys who is pro-dating is obviously in a relationship. He sits behind me in class...but he and his girlfriend are always together. ALWAYS. Like now I understand how annoying Spencer and I were last year. Whenever I see one of them I'm bound to see the other. And they only talk to one another. And probably only hang out with one another. I'm like sitting there at our lab station like how does it feel NOT to live?
HONESTLY.
I mean I know it feels great to have that, but seriously. These kids don't even have friends! It's just sad for me to watch because I was totally there. Exactly a year ago almost. Weird...
It's weird for me not to be with Spencer...or anyone for that matter. Only because for most of my high school years I was dating Spencer. It's just so weird for me, but not weird enough to the point where I feel the need for a relationship. Nothing serious at least.
Anyways, I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but I dropped AP Psych within the first week of school or so. I picked up TA and now I TA for this freshman math class. They are so cute and funny and I love them. What I love is that they aren't uncomfortable. They are so excited to be in high school and to be apart of the word. They're exciting.

So on Wednesday I lead my first song during worship at Off Campus. I have been feeling so lead to for the longest time, just leading in general. I remember when Deeg first asked me to sing a while ago he asked me if I would feel comfortable leading since I told him I played the guitar. At that time, leading was so out of the question. Singing was in my comfort zone, but playing the guitar AND singing...I didn't know if I could handle it.
So about a month ago I told him I'd LOVE to lead, since I felt like God had prepared my heart for it and now I was ready and practiced. We never actually got around to talking about it until a week and a half ago when he asked me to pick a song for the following week. I chose Always Forever, mostly because it's one of my favorite worship songs of all time. It really just speaks the truth of my life. It says "You are the hand that catches my fall, You are the friend that answers my call..." and that rings so true for me in my life because God has never hesitated to answer any of my prayers in a time of need. He never has and he never will, because he is a compassionate, merciful God who hates to see any of his children down. The song continues to say "You are the love I need, You are the air I breathe, You are my love my life, always forever. I would lay down my life just to be by your side, You are my love my life, always forever"...That part is just the cry of my heart. He IS the love that I need in my everyday life, and He IS the air that I breathe because if it weren't for him and his love and grace, I wouldn't even be in the place that I am right now. and I WOULD lay down my life if that meant I would be able to party with him in Haven instead.
Man, eternity with God, I can't even fathom. Can you?
God sent his one and only SON...just so we could spend the rest of our eternal life in Heaven, so that we wouldn't have to suffer the fiery pits of Hell.
His grace will lead the way in my life because he gave me his love and his compassion and forgiveness through the cross. And that is where I will cast my eyes, for all of my days.
However many I have.

Well, this has been quite the blog. I think it's cause I haven't written in so long...
I'll try not to do that next time :)
So long,
Until next time...

Classtime.

School is starting to grow back on me. There has already been drama spewed, or attempted I should say, which is absolutely ridiculous! I can't believe it. But I'm super stoked cause we have this wicked spot at lunch on "The Quad" (where all the cool people sit) with everyone from our church. I freakin' love it.
All my classes are starting to grow on me...except AP Psych. I think I might switch into Study Skills or T.A. or something. Other than that we're doing a lot of awesome things in my classes and I'm super excited.
We're learning to make pinch pots in Ceramics. I can tell already that I'm going to LOVE Ceramics. I love it already. I love molding the clay into whatever shape I please. My teacher says we're going to be "building" realtionships with the clay. Which I must say is quite fun already...I love clay :)
That's probably my favorite class so far, rather than sitting in rows of desks and writing, I get to express myself in clay art work. So legit.
My brother and my dad are gone for the weekend. No matter WHAT, whenever my brother is gone I always miss him. He drives me absolutely CRAZY, but I love him to death. He is my best friend...although he's 12 :).

Life is difficult. It's never ever simple. It may have it's simple points, but it will crack back down on you. You can't run away from it. Running away from it is just pasting your fears up on a billboard for everyone to see and pick at.
Get through life, the good and the hard times, with a smile is true strength. And I have that strength through He who provides it.

Well, I must go to my HOMEWORK. It's crazy that I have homework now. After 3 whole months of doing absolutely no work, I have homework, which i must complete...FOR A GRADE.
Daaaang.


Until next time...

Well, this is not your fault...
but if I'm without You then i will feel so small.

This Heart.

First day of school. The dreaded first day of school has come at last. All the excitment, confusion and curiosity of who will be in my classes and what the teachers will be like and where all my friends will be was absolutely chaotic. Needless to say, I'm glad it's over.
My normal day of school:
Seven in the morning, I arrive in my first class which is English. I love the people in my class so far, and my teacher is super chill, which was a relief for me because I would have hoped he would be seeing as we got there at the crack of dawn.
Around eight I'll have ceramics, a class in which I feel like I'll just be able to create art and let it be. Especially being relieved from stress by spinning or hand building will be a nice break in the morning.
Next around nine I'll have US History. My teacher is one of the cheer coaches and she is an Amador graduate herself. She's super cute and fun and I feel like I'm going to have a great time learning in that class.
Then around ten thirty I have Chemistry with a teacher who I SWEAR is Steve Martin's twin. He's hilariously awesome and I am a minority, being that the number of sophmores just about doubles the juniors, which only makes us more awesome and looked up to in that class. And seeing as the first day was a blast, I can't wait to see what it will be like in a few months.
Around eleven thirty I'll have Computer Science. I have always been good with computers, so I decided to take the course in which I'll be learning to do a bunch of programming and what not in. I'm also just excited because there's no homework in that class which is a MAJOR plus.
After lunch at about one, I'll have AP Psychology. That class seems extremely difficult and the homework load will be just that, but I feel like it will be super interesting and I can't wait until we start to really dive in.
Lastly, at around two, I'll have Honors Pre-Calc. Basically what my teacher said is although the class is difficult, it is basically Pre-Calc with an Honors in front of it so I'm pretty stoked about that. That AND it will help us prepare more for SAT's and what not.

Least to say, I'm pretty surprisingly satisfied. You see, I was REALLY thinking about doing Independent Study this year. I just decided I didn't like the people (which I don't really) and that they always bring me down rather than bring me up and that I couldn't take it anymore.
But I was thinking...why run away from the challenge rather than face it? Seeing as people like the treacherous ones I go to school with are everywhere around us. Why shut myself in and not face the reality? I was really thinking and praying hard about it today and I saw myself as running away from the problem, rather than confronting it.


Well, now I must go pour these feelings out on the guitar.
Until next time...

As the Days Grow Shorter.

Well, my summer has been awesome. NOT that it's necessarily over yet, but it's definately coming to a close. I am rushing to finish my AP Psych summer assaignment and trying to fit whatever I can in before my summer is officially over.
I had registration yesterday, meaning school starts way too soon. I LOVED my summer. My summer had nothing but highlights.
I can't even begin to explain the people I got to know. That and I don't really want to quite yet, those stories are way to juicy for a 6th blog post.
Anyways, I've just been working and playing my guitar, nothing new really.
JJ left town today, which depresses me. Hopefully though, I can go to her senior show at Biola in the winter. JJ is great and I freakin miss her already.
Well...i'm already bored of this post.
I'll post again about saturday or so, if I have time... :)
Until next time...

Tapioca Testimony.

There is nothing like tapioca. Absolutely nothing like it. If you have not been to Cafe Tapioca, I don'd know what to do with you. I don't know what is so appealing about little balls of Boba in a smoothie, but it is greatly life changing.

I love sharing my testimony with people. It's so great to have gone through a hard time and to be able to have learned something from it and keep someone from making that same mistake by learning from yours. Don't get me wrong, going through hard times is absolutley no fun, obviously. But being able to help others not make the same mistake is so rewarding.

For example, I have been in and out of relationships since the fourth grade...I know, right?

The FOURTH GRADE! How insane is that? I have just been going from boy to boy to boy. My most recent relationship, also my longest and most difficult, is a big part of my story.

His name is Spencer. He randomly one day decided to like me and we randomly one day started to date.
Little did we know that there was a huge road ahead of us.
He was great. I really though after a while that he was going to be it. Forever. I thought it was a done deal.
We were so attached. I don't know why we felt like we couldn't NOT be together every second of the day, but that's really how it was.
We were also quite controlling of one another. So controlling to the point where I couldn't see certain friends without him getting ticked off and he couldn't talk to certain people without me getting mad at him.

And one day, after a long and hideous year and a half of dating him or so, I decided to end it. Mostly because one day I woke up and realized that it was okay for me to live without him. More or less I really felt God giving me a peace about breaking up with him. I was completely fine with it. So I did, and we was devastated. Trying to figure out what he did wrong, and what was so wrong about him that I couldn't live with anymore.
To this day I still don't think he completely understands that it wasn't him.

Anyways, since then I've hung out with him twice. Both times were great in the beginning. And both times had the same ending.
When I say this, I don't mean to sound conceited. But I KNOW what the look he gave me was. He eventually would stop talking to me altogether, then he'd give me...that look. The look that reads "I can't have her, and I know it". It is the most painful look to recieve.
But even at the most recent time we hung out, I didn't do anything. Say anything or do anything that was...wrong. For lack of better words.
But he just gave me that look, and then afterwards treated me as if I had done something very very wrong.

I just can't stand it.
And because I've been dating since the 4th grade and never really knew what dating actually MEANT until recently, I've decided not to date for the rest of my high school career. This will be quite tough, but I know I will be rewarded in the end.
Well, I'm officially done with this one.
Until next time...

Loosing Myself.

I am soo loosing track of my blogs. I haven't blogged for about a week. And school hasn't even started yet! Wow.
I guess I've just been extremely busy with life, period. It has been throwing me some tough ones lately that i haven't seem to quite catch up with until about...today.

Last weekend was the most legit thing ever though. Cody's graduation party was off the hook and Em and Deeg's wedding was...just wow. Like THE most amazing wedding I've ever been to in my life. SO gorgeous. The Pine's house is the most perfect spot for a wedding first of all, and everything else just fit together so well. God was really watching out for them and making sure that the night of their wedding was to be remembered by all, which i'm positive it will.

This week has been nuts. I've just been running around everywhere like the world is going to end as soon as I loose step. Yesterday was probably my highlight though. In spite of almost all my loved ones being approx. 4 hours away on a lake where they are probably having the time of their lives, I was able to atend WARPED TOUR '08. Like...WOW.
These bands were soo amazing, at least the ones that I saw. Which were: The Academy Is..., Cobra Starship, Family Force 5, All Time Low, Forever the Sickest Kids, RELIENT K, We the Kings and a few others in which I didn't necessarily want to see.
Now the reason I bolded and raised up the size of font for Relient K is this: I have been listening to them since about the 3rd grade and seeing them in concert was one of the biggest highlights of my entire life. They were SOO amazing and it made my entire week, if not my month, IF NOT my entire year. AHH I can't even explain how that one band has changed my life.

Anyways, I also gained a farmer's tan and a dana tan from the concert which was nice. That was the craziest, most bizarre thing I've ever been to in my life and I am SOO going next year.

Unfortunately, I must depart for a party.
Until next time...

Earning that oh so crucial green.

I work at a grocery store. SO great, I love it there. I mean, it's obviously not what I want to do with the rest of my life, but it's a great high school job. It is helping me to build good habits and to gain good characteristics from the work I do. Just being social with the people and being sweet to them when the world might not be is a huge blessing to me. Just knowing that with one smile, I can change a person's day like THAT. Wow, I've actually never even thought about it that way until I typed it out.

Anyways, I've really learned a lot from bagging groceries. More like from the people I work with or the people I interact with. But that isn't all I do. I also clean the store, "face" the store (which is bringing the items on shelves forward and making the shelves look super nice). Facing is super fun, so long as you're not by yourself. It makes time go by way faster and you get to know someone a lot better when you do. Some of the people that I work with are some of my really good friends now because of the good times we've had there.

You would not even be able to imagine how many random good times I have had with the people working there. Just random conversations you have or random pranks you decide to pull. That's another thing you wouldn't be able to imagine, the kind of things we come up with to do when we are extremely bored. For example, say Tom rode his bike to work that day. Since Tom is such a punk, we decide to take some wire and hang his bike from this super high thing in the back room and wait to see his reaction when he gets off of work to go home. I've done that one a few times...but since we've done about 5 times, we have to come up with new places to put it.

And as workers of Gene's Fine Foods, we work right by Straw Hat. If you didn't know, pizza shops usually have super awesome games where you can win a bouncy ball or you can just pop a quarter in and grab it. Well, I think just about everyone that works on the front end of the store (checkers&&baggers) own at least one bouncy ball from Straw Hat. Only a checker or a bagger would ever understand how much entertainment a bouncy ball can really bring. We come up with these random games to play with them, only ot play in hopes that you don't get caught by a manager. Our managers...abuh.

I love working there though. The people are soo amazing and I am officially the only girl bagger for right now which is interesting...but I'm living with it. Anyways, thats a bit about my work place. As I continue to write, I'm sure more will pour out of this heart.
Until next time...

Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously.